We, as usual, were commenting on boys and girls, and criticizing the love birds around us. Sharing the same relation status -SINGLE, we do sometimes desperately feel like getting into a relation. But, I don’t think that commitments will really work in my case, and the very next moment substitutes my status with “HAPPILY SINGLE”.
Darkness is ready to permeate the sky, giving sun a routine farewell, with the red cruising in the azure, and these colors showing the bliss that they carry, without any sharp boundary, and with an eternal hope saying “See you tomorrow”.
And here, two gossipers are set to pour out all their old scraps before they start decaying.
Purva and I, generally, don’t get time out to our occupied routines: the same boring college lectures, MBA preparation classes and lastly, she knows when I am alone, being lonely is my first priority. So, we meet once a month, and spend an evening together witnessing this beautiful farewell, portrayed in the best frame, at the upper lake.
Observing all Bhopali couples, we were on the regular process of hit and trial method of pair making. With the best possible combination of angles and magnifications, our body’s self detector was set with the target of the eve, and it was in fact a rare event but we both targeted the same person. The object was more inclined in the direction of her desperate state.
Five eleven, muscular, fair and handsome- he was fulfilling the very first criteria in our list: physical appearance. His dressing sense was revealing that he was not a fashion freak, following the statement of sobriety. Regular denim narrow fit jeans, with a white tee, Levi’s canvas with a fast track watch the only accessory.
“He is perfect I guess?”
“On bed, I guess so.”, she replied.
Her bons mots, literally, are not only poor, but also ready to crawl at any instance. He was standing close to us, but far enough to catch the crabs about him, or about the future couple. He was so occupied by the splendid vista of the sunset that he didn’t even noticed we were continuously scanning him as if performing our end term practical. But, soon he came out of the sub-conscious state, surely due to the increasing intensity of jokes we cracked over him. He started coming near to us, and we out of our consciousness started looking in opposite directions as if the greatest admirers of the nature.
“He too boozes like you “, words jumped out my big mouth just as he crossed us.
“Keep your mouth sh…”
“I even share few more choices of her,” interrupted his mellow voice holding certain agony.
“Sorry?” We both responded over that obscure statement.
“You need not to be sorry” He replied.
“I mean, I didn’t get you?”
“You won’t”
“Any problem in life,” I knocked to empathize.
“Is being gay a problem?”
“Fuck man!!You must be kidding, you don’t look like them”, his epiphany recoiled her. Even, it was incredulous utterance for me, because all I knew about them was their girlish repute.
He started laughing, and until this boisterous mirth distracted the nearby visitors, he continued, “And ignorance in your prime problem”.
He joined us as an unwelcome guest, or a lecturer avid to edify his students. Hence, I came across a string of scenes, I haven’t heard about, or I just didn’t make a fuss to know them since they do not belong to my quiddity.
“It’s not your fault, not even your parents’, still someone need to be blamed, and an incognito soul can be conveniently blamed. Things can’t be erased by turning them hazy, or closing your eyes.”
“But it’s all your choice, flowing against the laws of nature”, she asserted.
“Neither it’s my choice, not it’s against nature”, He bawled cathartically.
And he continued, “These are again words of your ignorance, have you ever bothered to turn around the pages regarding homosexuality? As a matter of fact; 10 percent of the species are homosexuals, but why would you bother since you belong to the major 90%, and if you don’t, life teaches how to pretend to be a part of heterosexual majority. “
I found a cop advancing towards us, and the instant urge demanded tranquility of the waves. I asked her to be with the guy, till I manage to convince him that these waves are merely reflection of enjoyment. My poor convincing skill squeezed fifty bucks out of me.
“We need not to pretend, we are surely straights.” she giggled as if she had cracked a “good” joke (a rare event). It’s inevitable for her to uphold serious tone of any discussion.
“Yaa, you can barely make fun of it, making our lives as an old chestnut.”
“God made me so, then why shouldn’t I feel proud of what I am. But sometimes I can’t because of assholes like you all. Who are you to judge it’s natural or unnatural. Even Amartya Sen told there is nothing like prefect judgment, so whose rights you carry to tell, I am wicked. Even you can’t, how can you conclude a thesis without any set of observations”
I thought he will calm down, but it seems like it was a preplanned catharsis, waiting his own target of the evening.
“Relax man, yes, we admit, we don’t know much about these facts, but I am ready to hear you.” I solaced.
“Leave it; I don’t want to serve few more sources of pranks. We are not more than joke for you”
But, still he continued, “I am out to four of my friends, and…”
“Out ?”
“I told four of my friends that I am gay, and they gave an obvious reaction – “you must be joking dude!” but my life is not a joke”.
“Yes, obviously not, things we can’t understand are sometimes regarded so, may it be the case of mental patient, or an autistic one”, she replied.
I knew it was Anatara’s effect behind her voice. She is crazy about these daily soaps, still if they hit the true stain; I can say that these soaps are fine cleanser for few downbeat thoughts.
Finding him quiet, I thought of a mentioning my mere knowledge of high court’s verdict for them, “But now you have legal rights too?”
“What kind of rights? Will the society accepts us; will my college mates behave the same manner once they get acquainted about my sexuality; can you assure me that I won’t be discriminated at my work place; more than that will my family support me.”
“Not until you try to…”
But before I could conclude my quote, again she poured few more drops of oil in the flames. “How can they, this will lead to distortions in the Indian family system, Indian ethics and culture.”
And it led to the outburst of heat, whose sensation is still over my spirit. I know he was not wrong for what he said, but still, we both were unable to accept. We were not ready to accept I guess. We want to interrupt him once he started but I thought, let him speak out today, and indicated her not to utter anything until he finishes. Sometimes, it’s better to lend your ears rather than arguing, even when he goes against your ideologies.
“Indian family- father raping her daughter; son throwing their parents to old age homes; not only married men, but also school kids fucking prostitutes- Aren’t these issues distorting the family system? Aren’t they against our ethics and culture? I know not everyone does so, and this is what you too need to understand. Things, generally, have two shades,and it’s quite noticeable when you will compare the darker shade of homosexuality with the lighter shade of heterosexuality; the result will always favor the later.”
His words were really making sense, not in the context of philosophy but also logic. The squelch still sustained.
“I admit, homosexuals do commit crime; but on the other hand- straight people do indulge in homosexual incest just for pleasure or experimentation. And if they do so, why we are blamed, reason is uncomplicated, the coin tossed for us lack the fair side.”
Things were really shocking, even I didn’t believe much, but conversely, his words were too untwisted. We preserved a prolonged silence, and he continued.
“Sorry, but I am really pissed off with all these stuffs. Terrorists create terror in the name of God; the culprits are rarely punished. We are also discriminated in the name of God; in this case, why victims are punished .You know, my classmates have girl friends, still they visit prostitutes. And here, I love a guy, whom even I can’t propose: but who is wrong in the society? -Obviously me, me and only me”
And he left without even turning back, but our eyes followed him till he disappeared. Silence still existed, and in the midst of it laid many questions hanging around us, with no words to bring them down. The cacophony aroused by others still can’t absorb the silence brought by him. We didn’t lacked words, but it was voice. And this solemn silence raised the sound of clicking seconds;
“Time to leave, see you soon, Tchao.”
“Tchao”
In the end of the day, darkness may avoid us finding the sharp boundary between the two colors, but till how long?
P.S: Few words for the one behind this work; if you ever visit this blog I want to thank you for acquainting my box with your perspective. And for other readers I just want to ask-Are you ready to open your box?
